i need some physical affection and 3 bottles of vodka
i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry
THIS STRANGER JUST OPENED MY FRONT DOOR PETTED MY DOG SAW ME AND LEFT
i just met my step-brother for the first time
you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face
do you ever meet someone who’s like the human version of unnecessary comments on a text post
the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
the game is evolving too quickly
now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON
my brother went off to college 3 weeks ago and has not texted me at all until this
Appropriate response to everything Peeta Mellark does in the entire series.
look what you can buy
There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.
this is terrifying